Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Reason #58 I'm glad I still have my job:

Today at my last story time I was walking around making sure everyone was doing OK on their crafts. (We made little houses out of recycled milk cartons. Yeah, it was pimp.)

When I asked my favorite kid if he needed help (you remember, the one who likes to pretend he's the devil) he replied "Do you want to see my eye roll?" and then promptly demonstrated the most annoyed and exasperated look I have ever seen on a 5 year old.

"That's a great eye roll, you're going to drive your parents crazy," I told him, "but how is your house coming along, do you want some of this construction paper to make a garden?"

"No, but look at these anarchy signs someone tagged on the side of my house in red spray paint," he said in response.


200th Post!

Horray! I've managed to waste your life a full 200 times!

A book update:

My goal was to read 50 books this year, with my JF and YA books in the mix it shouldn’t take too long.

Currently Checked out:

Note to Self- Samara O'Shea
The Breath of God- Harry Turtledove
Poems to Read-
America's Favorite Poems-
The Wizard's First Rule- Terry Goodkind
Lucinda's Secret- Tony DiTerlizzi
The Diamond of Darkhold- Jeanne DuPrau
The Prophet of Yonwood- Jeanne DuPrau
The Graveyard Book- Neil Gaiman
The Tail of Emily Windsnap- Liz Kessler
One False Note- Gordon Kormon
Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List- Rachael Cohn & David Levithon
Found I
Found II
The Book of General Ignorance
The Book of Animal Ignorance
Now We Are Six- A.A. Milne
Marked- PC Cast
Betrayed-PC Cast
Chosen- PC Cast
Hunted-PC Cast
The Pox Party- MT Anderson
Don't Look Down- Jennifer Crusie And Bob Mayer
The Historian- Elizabeth Kostova
Dead Witch Walking- Kim Harrison
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo- Steig Larsson
Untamed- PC Cast
The Sword Thief- Peter Lerangis
Dog and Goddesses- Jennifer Crusie
Fiancé at her Fingertips- Kathleen Bacus
Scarlet Moon- Debbie Viguie
Bright Dark Madonna- Elizabeth Cunningham
Every Which Way but Dead- Kim Harrison
A Fist Full of Charms- Kim Harrison
For Few Demons More- Kim Harrison
The Good, the Bad, the Undead- Kim Harrison
The Outlaw Demon Wails- Kim Harrison
White Witch, Black Curse- Kim Harrison
The Ten-Cent Plauge- David Hajdu
Creepy cute crochet : zombies, ninjas, robots, and more!-Christen Haden
Fool- Christopher Moore
Drood- Dan Simmons
Inkheart- Cornelia Funke
Pleasuring the Pirate- Emily Byron
Star Wars Infinities: A New Hope-
Star Wars Boba Fett- John Wagner
Japan ai- Amiee Major Steinburger
The Soul of a Chef- Micheal Ruhlman
A Platter of Figs- David Tanis
Twilight- Stephenie Meyer
Eclipse- Stephenie Meyer
New Moon- Stephenie Meyer
Breaking Dawn- Stephenie Meyer
Clan of the Cave Bear- Jean M Auel
Valley of Horses-Jean M Auel
The Gargoyle- Andrew Davidson
The Host- Stephenie Meyer
Lost in Austen: Create your own Jane Austen Adventure- Emma Campbell Webster
Emergency: This Book Will Save Your Life- Neil Strauss
Journal : Amy Zoe Mason- found by Kristine Atkinson and Joyce Atkinson.
Voss : how I come to America and am hero, mostly- David Ives.
Survival wisdom & know-how : everything you need to know to subsist in the wilderness- Amy Rost.
Written in bone : buried lives of Jamestown and Colonial Maryland- Sally M. Walker.
A conspiracy of paper- David Liss.
A short history of nearly everything- Bill Bryson.
Glazed America : a history of the doughnut-Paul R. Mullins.
The sword thief- Peter Lerangis.
The Fetch- by Laura Whitcomb.
Beyond The Grave- Jude Watson
The Mammoth Hunters- - Jean M Auel
The Plains of Passage- - Jean M Auel
The Shelters of Stone- - Jean M Auel
Once Dead, Twice Shy- - Kim Harrison
Larklight, or, The revenge of the white spiders!, or, To Saturn's rings and back! : a rousing tale of dauntless pluck in the farthest reaches of space - as chronicl'd by Art Mumby, with the aid of Mr. Philip Reeve and decorated throughout by David Wyatt.
Emergency: This book will save your life- - Neil Strauss
Journal : Amy Zoe Mason- found by Kristine Atkinson and Joyce Atkinson.
Voss : how I come to America and am hero, mostly- David Ives.
Survival wisdom & know-how : everything you need to know to subsist in the wilderness- Amy Rost.
Written in bone : buried lives of Jamestown and Colonial Maryland- Sally M. Walker.
A conspiracy of paper- David Liss.
A short history of nearly everything- Bill Bryson.
Glazed America : a history of the doughnut- -Paul R. Mullins.
The sword thief- Peter Lerangis.
The Fetch- by Laura Whitcomb.
Beyond The Grave- Jude Watson
The Mammoth Hunters- - Jean M Auel
The Plains of Passage- - Jean M Auel
The Shelters of Stone- - Jean M Auel
Once Dead, Twice Shy- - Kim Harrison
Larklight, or, The revenge of the white spiders!, or, To Saturn's rings and back! : a rousing tale of dauntless pluck in the farthest reaches of space - as chronicl'd by Art Mumby, with the aid of Mr. Philip Reeve and decorated throughout by David Wyatt.
Emergency: This book will save your life- - Neil Strauss
Repossesed- A.M. Jenkins
Here there be Dragons- James A. Owen
Martha Stewart's encyclopedia of crafts : an A-to-Z guide with detailed instructions and endless inspiration.
The Gilded Chamber: a story of Queen Esther- Rebecca Kohn
Blue Bloods- Melissa de la Cruz
Revelations- Melissa de la Cruz
Masqurade- Melissa de la Cruz
Across Five Aprils- Albert John Pucci
Killer Pizza- Greg Tayler
Air Head- Meg Cabot
Being Nikki- Meg Cabot
Smitten- Janet Evanovich
Wife for Hire-Janet Evanovich
Big Boned- Meg Cabot
Size 14 is not Fat Either- Meg Cabot
Bet Me- Jennifer Crusie
Confessions of a Shopaholic- Sohpie Kinsella
Good in Bed-Jennifer Weiner
The Dust of 100 Dogs- AS King
Streetcar Named Desire- Tennessee Williams
The Sign- Raymond Khoury
Oh. My. Gods- Tara Lynn Childs
Dormia- Jake Halpern
Shopaholic takes Manhattan- Sophie Kinsella
Black Arrow- I.J. Parker
The Alchemyst: the secrets of the immortal Nicholas Flamel- Michael Scott
The Zombie Survival Guide: complete protection from the undead- Michael Scott
Mistress of the Art of Death- Ariana Franklin
Love Overboard- Janet Evanovich
Thanksgiving- Janet Evanovich
Nature Girl- Carl Hiaasen
The soloist : a lost dream, an unlikely friendship, and the redemptive power of music- Steve Lopez
Sorcery and Cecelia, or, The enchanted chocolate pot : being the correspondence of two young ladies of quality regarding various magical scandals in London and the country - Patricia C. Wrede and Caroline Stevermer
Bloody Jack : being an account of the curious adventures of Mary "Jacky" Faber, ship's boy- L.A. Meyer
Pants on Fire- Meg Cabot
Avalon High- Meg Cabot
The Final Warning- James Patterson
Vamipire Kisses- Ellen Schreiber
The Mysterious Benedict Society- Trent Lee Stewart
Runemarks- Joanne Harris
Baked : new frontiers in baking- Matt Lewis and Renato Poliafito
The Last Olympian- Rick Riordan

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wink: the ninja who wanted to be noticed

Today's awesome new book find is:



I had high hopes that J. C. Phillipps was a man, but then I realized that guys don't often write kids books about flamboyant ninjas and then illustrate them with pieces of origami paper. Alas, they should.


Anyway, in my search, I found out that J. C. is actually Julie. This is what she has to say about Wink! on her blog: "It is the story of a boy named Wink who is SUPER EXCITED to attend the Summer Moon School for Young Ninjas. He can kick, tumble, and punch but he can't seem to be quiet or stay hidden. Wink doesn't get the whole stealth aspect of it. Needless to say, he gets in a lot of trouble. He is expelled after a particularly "showy" day at the zoo. Then Wink discovers a family of circus performers and finds a place he can truly shine."

Throughout the book, Wink is often scolded by his awesomely stereotypical sensei (I'm pretty sure J.C./Julie just copied a picture of Pai Mei (from Kill Bill vol. II)). Master Zutsu to send him home several times with admonishments that read like proverbs: "The loudest cricket is the first to be caught" and "The blossom that flaunts its color is soon plucked." Wink's grandmother tries to cheer him up and shares a few proverbial sayings of her own, including "Time spent laughing is time well spent" and "Sometimes a worry must rest."

I love this book not only for its beautiful cut paper illustrations, but because it spreads an important message. We should accept every ninja for themselves, regardless of their pink flowered shinobi shozoku (that's fancy talk for ninja clothes) or their desire to dance with ribbons while roundhouse kicking. Because, let's face it, if you got the skills you'll go far.




Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Still Loving Wordle

This one is for my friend Niki, of her favorite Edna St. Vincent Millay poem:

Wordle: Niki

I love Wordle!

I know it's small, but here is an example of my new favorite Internet distraction. Wordle.net! You can paste any sort of text on their website, and it makes a word cloud out of it that shows the importance and relevance of certain terms.

I've been running all sorts of things through it. This is an entry from my friend Kat's blog on her vacation to the Virgin Islands.

You should see the press releases the library has been releasing.

Wordle: Island

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Reason #42 I'm glad I still have my job

People who think it's acceptable to wear overalls and bras as a complete outfit.

Reason #34 I'm glad I still have my job

It is dead silent in here. Completely empty on a Saturday afternoon.

The only sounds are explosion noises I make when I play Bejeweled, and my chewing (eating might infact be why my average score every game is 9560).

When out of nowhere...

"SPONGEBOB!!! SPONGEBOB!!!!!!!"

I love it when kids flip out and scream for imaginary people.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Reason #17 I'm glad I still have my job



Today at story time we talked about creativity and imagination. I told the kids that when I was little I like to pretend I was a dinosaur and a fireman. And then I made the mistake of asking the group what they like to pretend to be.

Most of them looked confused. But one answered right back:

"The Devil!"

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I'm crying because I'm just so angry....

Because I can't tell anyone why I'm really upset, I will instead write a horrendously passive aggressive post about the library's condoning the purchase of books that piss me off.

Yeah, screw politically correct phraseology. These books are dumb and they piss me off.
It all started with The Dangerous Book for Boys:


Which was quickly followed by The Daring Book for Girls (someone must have complained, or perhaps they just realized they were missing out on half of the population that influenced the parental buyers):

It all went wonky from there. Books with retro covers and silly names were everywhere. Boys, girls, families, pets... Everyone had a how-to book. Awesome I'm generally all for it.
Until this morning when I came across The Boys' book of Survival: how to survive anything, anywhere. AWESOME! Right up my alley!


Well, these books usually come in gender pairs, so I skipped forward a few hundred Dewey's to find what sort of feminine counterpart a book that awesome could have. THIS IS WHAT I FOUND!!!

That's right, The Girls' Book of Glamour: a guide to being a goddess. I could go on and on about how ridiculous that is, but instead let me show you the back cover text for each:
The Boys' Book of Survival:
Be Brave. Be confident. Be prepared... Be a hero!
ever wonder how to survive:
  • A tornado? Turn to page 16.
  • A duel? Find out on page 23
  • A shark attack? Flip to page 30
  • An avalanche? Turn to page 60
  • In bear country? Find out on page 62
  • An essay crisis? Flip to page 97
  • Your teachers? Turn to page 125

Plus tons of other amazing survival skills! With easy-to-follow directions and helpful Illustrations, you'll have the skills you need to get through even the toughest day!

Now, when you compare that to The Girls' book of Glamour, you can see why my feminist ideals are all bent out of shape. And trust me, that's hard to do, because I have no feminist ideals!

Be confident. Be glamours. Be gorgeous... be the goddess you were born to be! Ever wonder how to:

  • Put on a fashion show? Flip to page 16.
  • Do a perfect pirouette? Flip to page 34
  • Give yourself a mini facial? Turn to page 45
  • Get the hair you really want? Find out on page 68.
  • Host a spa party? Flip to page 73
  • Write your first autobiography? Turn to page 108.

Plus more that ninety other fabulous things you need to know! With easy-to-follow directions and helpful instructions, it won't be long before you're a true goddess. After all, every girl deserves a life of glamour!

WRONG BITCHES! EVERY GIRL DESERVES TO KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE A SHARK ATTACK FIRST!