Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Five Internet Terrors That SHOULD be Censored

Happy Banned Books Week Day 3! To celebrate, here is a list of things I would censor if there were no first amendment.

5. Bad quizzes Face book or otherwise.
        I assure you I am in no way related to Paris Hilton, regardless of what my favorite number and hair color apparently implies.

4. Abusing the pride of your pets.
      Bella would eat my face off if I even tried that.

3. Twilight sex toys Highly inappropriate kiddies, so don't check that one at work! 
      Sometimes I wonder about twilight fans... gross.

2. Wasting my time with your uselessness. 
      Yeah, you heard me. I think it's lame.

1. Joe Jonas in a unitard. Pretending to be Beyonce.
         Everyone knows Justin Timberlake looks way better in that unitard. Or heck skip the unitard and wear your pads like the boys on Glee.

Know something that deserves to be banned? Let me know!


Laura said...

Oprah's book club! I mean the institution of course, not the books.

Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Hey Niki, lighten up. It was a joke.

It's for banned books week. The point was that we DON'T have the right to decide what other people should read/see/do. We shouldn't ban ANYTHING.

And yes, I've twittered. Or tweeted. or whatever the lingo is. I wasn't referring to the news, but to the people who post things asinine things.

And the Oprah thing was a joke for the people at the library.

Kat said...

Books in Oprah's book club are like independent films: things that take themselves too seriously and because they are depressing, everybody who is trying to be intellectually superior assumes they MUST be good. We all hate them at our library, too. Other genuinely good books that laugh at themselves while still making ingenious observations about the world are always excluded because they aren't serious enough (several travel novels come to mind).

Tweet: I just wiped my nose.
Tweet: I think I'm coming down with a cold and I'm running out of tissues.
Tweet: LOL I didn't have correct punctuation in my last tweet! RT I think I'm coming down with a cold, and I'm running out of tissues.
Tweet: Haha I know how to use commas!
Tweet: Switching to toilet paper WTF?

OK I'm done. I thought your post was brilliant, Laura. :-D

Laura said...

Thank you Kat, you have no idea how much that means.

Deno said...

This is probably on purpose (but it could've been an awesome accident) - your blog appears 3d ish to me. It's the red and blue/teal - like those old 3d glasses. Against the black background the red print looks raised by about a half cm. I don't know - I thought that was neato.

Laura said...

have you been drinking again?