Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Annnnd I'm back!

I promise I'm going through all of my vacation stories and pictures as fast as humanly possible (well, you know I played with my kitties, and then I took that nap, and now I'm going to go make dinner...) but yeah, as fast as humanly possible!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Oh, this makes me happy too

Things that make me happy:


Cinnamon rolls

Running shit over with my car

Yes you dear reader, make me happy, because you are the only one looking at this.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Apocalypse Scenario #274:

World overrun with undead jellyfish.

Well, in the jellyfish's defense, they aren't undead, just undying. Yeah these little buggers live forever.

I found the story here, but you don't have to read it. It's very self explanatory.

Due to something called transdifferation, the Turritopsi nutricula are capable of transforming their own cells back to immature polyp state. Yeah, they mutate themselves. UNDEAD MUTANT JELLYFISHES!!! They live out their lives over and over, going from young to old and back again. Because they reproduce but never die, their numbers are booming and they are now found throughout the world, instead of just in the Caribbean, where they originated. Yes, that's right. They are taking over the world, one squiggly mass at a time.

Luckily, no jellyfish is immune to toxic waste (at least not as of yet), so there is a we will avoid this specific apocalypse in favor of a flashier, if dirtier one.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I need a Jenny the Bloggess Beach Hat

No, for reals. I do.

I was just reading about The Bloggess' family vacation and blah blah blah...

Let's skip to the good part
I need a beach hat like hers.
Anyone with the means or a way for me to acquire said hat, please, PLEASE let me know!!!!!

Old or Unicorn?

Have found Grey Hair numbers 2, 3 and 4.

And by 'Grey' I mean 'the burnished, glowing white of fresh silk, pearls and unicorns'

Perhaps not getting old, perhaps turning into unicorn?

Proves one thing- hair has grown approximately 2 inches since last dyed, and thus I did an excellent job picking the color that most matched my roots. Tomorrow I will attempt to re-dye, less some young high schooler who has read Rampant thinks I am trying to eat them and kills me.

Now unable to sleep due to fear of Bucephalus coming to eat me. I guess if you didn't get paid to read the book, you wouldn't be afraid.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Beach Reading. Check.

Judge all you want, but there are certain unalienable rights when it comes to vacation reading. When you're forced to spend time on airplanes, beaches and in hotels rooms, who want's to be overwhelmed by deep literature? You're on vacation for God's sakes- your body AND your mind! You need the type of book that you would never consider reading at home. The type of book that won't cost you an arm and a leg to replace if you should be, say... kidnapped by pirates?

With that in mind, I've been looking for the perfect book. 
This morning with Kathy was emptying the outside drop box, she found it. 
The perfect beach read:

Her Forbidden Pirate by Cassie Edwards

Let me recount the back cover for you! Don't worry, you don't have to actually read it, I took the liberty of highlighting the important parts.

"Key West heiress Natalie Palmer has never wanted for anything-- not until a chance encounter turns her privileged world upside down. Bryce Fowler is different in every way from the pompous, wealthy suitors her father has in mind, and his seductive charm tempts her to make the most reckless decision of her life. Because Bryce is also a pirate, and once Natalie succumbs to their blistering attraction, there can be no turning back..

Bryce's painful childhood molded him into a determined, driven man who gratifies every longing, no matter what the cost. Natalie gives herself to him in a night of wanton ecstasy, captivating him in a way no woman ever has. But dark treachery swirls around the Keys and threatens their union, even as Bryce realizes that the riches he has pursued can never compare with the treasure he has found..."

Now for a little glimpse into the inner workings of my mind. The main pirate hunk's name is Bryce Fowler... I immediately think...

Ok, Matthew Bromer played a character called Bryce Larkin on NBC's Chuck (love that show!) Now Matthew Bromer has his own show (USA's White Collar- Love that show too!), in which the bad guys name is Garrett Fowler... Get it... Bryce Fowler.. Mattew Bromer is the common denominator.... This is how my brain works every day. It's exhausting!

I thought perhaps Cassie Edwards- the author if this gem of trashy romance excellence- thinks the same way, but alas, Her Forbidden Pirate is actually a reprint of a 1984 classic, originally titled Passion's Web.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

New ROYAL Review Books

Apparently, it's been two months since the last time I got a batch of free books to review... In that time I managed to read two of them normally, and six over this past weekend. I think my brain might die.

I'm so horribly sad. There were some great titles on the table at yesterday's meeting, but those crazed librarians did some sort of ninja running thing and stole them all!

We do get to pick one title after we present our reviews as a 'first choice' (which is a laugh when your name starts with S... Everyone has already taken the good stuff!)

My first pick was:
Meanwhile by Jason Shiga.
A choose-your-own-adventure style graphic novel of EPIC proportions. Set up like the devil's own flowchart, you must follow your path from page to page via colored tabs. Apparently there were some complex computer algorithms that had to be run for several months just to find a logical layout for the text. Awesome.

My second choice was going to be The Dead Tossed Waves by Carrie Ryan (a squeal to The Forest of Hands and Teeth (look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about!)) but it was snatched up by the school librarian from Milford. As she was one of the troop mothers that let me go to the zoo for free this past weekend, I didn't fight her to the death for it.

Instead I got:

The Strange Case of the Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger 
(Which was my 3rd choice anyway)
It comes complete with instructions on how to make your own Origami Yoda. I considered it my moral responsibility to get a copy for my library. I'm an educator for god's sake!

After that everything good was gone so I got:

 Magic Under Glass by Jaclyn Dolamore
Typical yawnfest as far as I'm concerned, with the notable exception the massive outcry when the American cover was reveled (see above) and the main character featured was not as.... dark... as her description in the text. Ya'll know how much I love a good excuse for a race riot.

 Brisingr by Christopher Paolini
That's right folks, the DELUXE edition... complete with guide to dwarf runes.... Linda was so happy to see it that I quickly agreed to let her keep it if she read it for me and wrote the review. We DON'T need another copy of that baby, and I can stand to have 800 pages of free time that I would have spent rereading it.

 Dizzy in Your Eyes: Poems About Love by Pat Mora

Ooo baby, we all know how much I love emo teen love poems. Sign. Me. Up.

The picture on that is hard to read but it says:
Poetry Rocks! World Poetry "Evidence of Life" by Paula Johanson
It sounds lame, but apparently it traces the history of poetry and art... through... history and what not.

Not the best haul ever, but it could be much, MUCH worse.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Back to Key West

Vacation Count Down:

In the spirit of vacation, my mom sent me this:

The last time I was in Key West. Yes I am the adorable blond on the far right.

Seth Grahame-Smith: Say What You Will, I Still Think He's a Genius.

Book trailers have long been an unfortunate part of our lives. And by our I mean anyone who has been forced to spend any amount of time in the electronics area of Target. Most of you have never had to endure a horrible book trailer. Sometimes you'll see one on TV, if it's late at night and the station desperately needs some ad revenue. Otherwise, you have probably escaped.

Here is an example of a typical book trailer. A fairly enjoyable book. Scratch that, a downright adorable little book has been reduced to pure rubbish. Anyone who sees this will run screaming for the hills. After stabbing themselves in the ears. I'm sorry Flavia, you've been screwed by your publishers.

Don't feel obligated to watch more than 15 seconds of that garbage. I won't hold it against you. But please judge this book by its cover instead of its trailer. The cover will not lead you astray. Oh, and read my review of it!

 So, you can imagine my surprise and pleasure when I see the book trailers of one Seth Grahame-Smith. Say what you will about his abuse of classic literature and beloved historical figures; the man knows how to get his books read. Today, word of mouth is a sub-par means of communicating the worth of written materials. If they are going to complete in this world of instant information, they need help. Seth Grahame-Smith knows where to get it.

This just in:

I was awarded a great honor today by the one and only Jenny the Bloggess!

 She officially bestow it upon me as the official Czar (of Nothingness) of Martindale Texas
In fact, she thinks I probably earned it.


Yes, straight from the.... er... hands of my venerable hero and blogging leader to you. I have NOT intentionally killed anyone. This week.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Three Things I Believe.... Because It's Wednesday and Noone Reads My Blog Anyway.

God is in the details.

Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.

If you lock up a six ton predator in a tiny tank after two years experiencing freedom, you shouldn't be surprised when it tries to kill it's way out.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Reading List: Jan-Feb 2010

TitleAuthorDate StartedDate FinishedGenreRating
FireCashore, Kristen1-Jan24-JanYA Fantasy***
TemptedCast, PC &Kristin1-Jan17-JanYA Fantasy**
Beautiful CreaturesGarcia, Kami & Margie Stohl3-Jan7-JanYA- Gothic****
DormiaHalpern, Jake & Peter Kujawinski4-Jan
J Fantasy
Sweetness at the Bottom of the PieBradley, Alan11-Jan18-JanF Mystery****
The eye of the worldJordan, Robert15-Jan
F Fantasy
The Breadwinner TrilogyEllis, Deborah17-Jan
Ender's GameCard, Orson Scott20-Jan22-JanF Sci- Fi***
Diary of a Wimpy KidKinney, Jeff22-Jan22-JanJF***
Lockdown: Escape from FurnaceSmith, Alexander Gordon26-Jan27-JanYA Thriller***
GentlemenNorthrop, Michael28-Jan
The Forest of Hands and TeethRyan, Carrie29-Jan
YA Horor
People of the BookBrooks, Geraldine29-Jan
F Historical
EpicKostick, Conor30-Jan
YA Sci Fi
Shades of Grey Fford, Jasper30-Jan
F Fantasy
NeedJones, Carrie3-Feb5-FebYA Fantasy**
The Children's BookByatt, A.S.3-Feb
F Coming of Age
RevelationsDe La Cruz, Melissa3-Feb
YA Gothic
How to Say Goodbye in RobotStandiford, Natalie6-Feb9-FebYA***
The Betrayal of the Blood LilyWillig, Lauren8-Feb
F Romance/Mystery
Nightlight: a parodyHarvard Lampoon15-Feb
YA Comedy
The Angel ExperimentPatterson, James23-Feb
YA Sci Fi
I am a genius of unspeakable evil and I want to be your class presidentLieb, Josh25-Feb
YA Humor
Heart of DarknessConrad, Joseph27-Feb
Peter PanBarry, J. M.1-Mar
J Fantasy
Hush, HushFitzpatrick, Becca2-Mar
YA Gothic
The Kingdom of OhioFlaming, Matthew2-Mar
F Fantasy

Library Lover's Month

February was Library Lover's Month.

To celebrate I did... nothing!
But A Softer World did. 

Ok fine, I'll post it here, but now you can't read the alt text.

Oh  Joey if only you knew I was waiting in my library for you!

In addition to that awseomeaucity, I also got the comments from our "I love my library because:" contest.
These are all from some of my favorite kids, who all rock. It made me so very, very awesome happy!

"I has good book."
"I would not be as smart without my library! And we would not be able to read!"
"It haves books and people that I like."
"Mother is happy be being and has good, kind people and good, funny book."
"I can express myself artictik and I can show off how I love books."
"Too slos of book. I love it a lot. Sow moth. Baby."

*I am not making fun of these kids, they are all super cute and writing at a very young age! Yay them!

I told you so.

Yeah. What's that? You're sorry you doubted me when I said the world is slowly being destroyed? You believe me now? You think it's a good idea to prepare for the worst case scenario? Yes, yes, you can come stay in my compound and eat my delicious canned goods and dried meats. but you had better be prepared to contribute.

Today is the day to acquire that skill you've always secretly wanted. Archery? Awesome. Leather tanning? I'll take it. Time to invest in a useful hobby my friends.  

Monday, March 1, 2010