Sunday, May 16, 2010

How to self diagnose.

Doctors are totally overrated. Someone reminded me on Saturday that some large percentage of doctors graduate in some low percentages of their classes.... I wasn't really paying attention to the details... But really, these days who needs a doctor.

I've been sick for weeks and putting off going to the doctor because I assumed that what was wrong with me was the same thing that's been wrong with me this time of year annul annually since I was 12. Boy was I wrong!!!

I was laying around, unable to sleep, watching a little PBS. It's what I do. NOVA is better than any over the counter sleep aid. Give me some American Experience and a little cuddling and I'm out like a light... But I digress. Key points- can't sleep, watching Globe Trekker.

That jackass Ian Wright was climbing the Himalayas when he actually said something of profound relevance.
Ian Wright told me all the symptoms of ALTITIUDE SICKNESS... and something clicked! Clearly this is what I have! It sounded just like me.

Let's recap the symptoms of Acute Mountain Sickness:

The main symptom of elevation sickness is a MASSIVE HEADACHE that isn't helped by analgesics- Check!

When you have one of the following symptoms in combination with that head ache, you're pretty much screwed:
  • Lack of appetite, nausea, or vomiting- well nothing sounded good when I was looking for dinner...
  • Fatigue or weakness- yes.
  • Dizziness or light-headedness- Probably... I don't walk too straight.
  • Insomnia- we've already touched on that
  • Pins and needles- Yes! Yes, I couldn't feel my feet when I finally stopped kneeling in front of the TV!
  • Shortness of breath upon exertion- I don't even need to exert myself, this is totally true!
  • Nosebleed- well, I blow my nose so much that my snot is defiantly pink!
  • Persistent rapid pulse- Like a little bird.... a caffeinated little bird
  • Drowsiness- Duh... I can't sleep, that means I tried to for a reason!
  • General malaise- that's like the plague right? I feel like I have the plague...
  • Peripheral edema (swelling of hands, feet, and face)- Now that you mention it, my face DOES look kinda fat today!
  • Pulmonary edema (fluid in the lungs): Let's look into the symptoms of this... oh yeah, all of those!

    • Symptoms similar to bronchitis
    • Persistent dry cough
    • Fever
    • Shortness of breath even when resting
  • Cerebral edema (swelling of the brain): Uh-oh, these don't sound good... is this why I can't walk a straight line?

    • Headache that does not respond to analgesics
    • Unsteady gait
    • Gradual loss of consciousness
    • Retinal hemorrhage

So clearly, I am dying of Altitude Sickness. Here, in Ohio, altitude strikes again.

I mean, sure, I could have seasonal allergies, a sever overdose of caffeine and some swelling issues from too much ramen, but I think it TOTALLY makes more sense that I was attacked by a mountain in my sleep last night.

Doctors, who needs them.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Drunk History -or- Every Paper I wrote at OU

There is something very important I want you to see...

Dear Friends,

I'm fairly certain I'm being stalked by a crap ass black Nissan with no hubcaps. If I go missing, alert the authorities.

My will is in the emergency info drawer at the New Richmond Library. If you're coming to get it, wear sturdy shoes, bring rope and a water bottle.


Friday, May 14, 2010

Bloggers without Makeup

If you didn't see, there has been a movement around the internet for Bloggers Without Makeup day today.

I'm all about it! Although I have to admit that I wear makeup once a month... maybe. I disagree with most of the reasons makeup is worn, even if I fall prey to them as much as the next girl. If I want to look classy, or nice, or put together... then I'll dig around under the sink till I find some mascara.

But I think I look prettier without make up. Makeup takes away my freckles. It makes my eyes red and itchy. I break out every time I wear it. It makes me look funny.

Now, don't go thinking I'm all enlightened, really I'm lazy, you know that. But, I am totally impressed with the bloggers around the world who are following Mummy Mayhem's plan. So, my advice as to what people (read: women, including me) should be doing is wearing more SPF and less expensive goops. Go, be free, enjoy those freckles.

I went to look for a picture and realized, that while I don't wear makeup, I am guilty of putting up a public face that hides part of my real face. Almost all of my pictures are sideways, upside down, missing eyeballs, noses or mouths, or any combination of the above. And that's just as bad as hiding behind make up. It's totally cheating.

So, here you go! No makeup, no editing, no shower! Welcome to me.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Royal Books May 2010

Oh the hubbub in the ROYAL world. Book reviewing is now an exclusive club, and they are raising the admittance fee! Right now I believe the library pays $30 a year for me to read books, review them for the publishers and set them on their way into our system. But SWON has discovered that it costs the almost $16,000 a year for us to do this..... So, they want to raise our membership fees to $50.

I'm ok with this, but I know it won't fly with the CCPL peeps. But when you consider that I scored a haul of $131.96 in books for us today alone, (Since I started last September I've gotten $529.21 in free books ya'll), you think that shelling out $50 wouldn't matter.. but I digress.

I'm totally mad because Paula (who conveniently runs the meetings and thus declared herself first reader and thus first picker) snatched the unproofed preview copy of Linger by Maggie Stiefvater first thing. Sigh. I don't know how it is that I always get to pick last. Fail.

Anywho, this is what I scored this time:

First we have The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag by Alan Bradley. The first title in this series (The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie) was totally cute.

The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had to by DC Pierson

Hard to Get by Emma Sarlson Berne (bleh)

Dancing for Degas By Kathryn Wagner

Thirst No. 2 by Christopher Pike (Since I already gont No. 1)

Birth Marked by Caragh M. O'Brien (This was my first choice)

Alice I Have Been by Melanie Benjamin (Amy wants to read this one for me)

And finally, last and totally not least:

The Flash: Rebirth by Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

New Richmond Display Contest

I'm testing the ability to blog from Flickr... This is from the Clermont Couunty Public Library's photo stream... because apparently we have one... to which I have not been sending my pictures... oops.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

When in Rome...

If every time you drive by a place and think "wow, that's great lighting, I should stop there!" and then happen to find yourself sitting in the parking lot of the aforementioned place, waiting for traffic to move, then you should probably get up and go take a picture.... logic dictates it.

I have to admit, I've been putting off being around GA ever since my grandma's funeral. 

But, I got invited to help out at the musical review that's put on every year.

So, I went, because who looks a free $12 ticket in the mouth. And it was like my own private little episode of Glee.

And I realized that still, to this day, I only know the boy parts to the Hallelujah Chorus.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

This is what I did today (and yesterday)

Pine Nut Terror!

They look innocent enough. Sitting in a bin, you can get as many or as few as you like. Just turn the little handle and you can do anything. Make pesto. Dress salads. Top pizza. Heck, you cane even make cookies. (No really, you can. And they are fantastic too! Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself here at Real Simple.) The sky is the limit. They're versatile, delicious and generally good for you. How could you go wrong with something that wholesome and cute

That is until you get hit with something I like to call Pine Nut Fail. And man, it is a BIG fail. You think things are going great. You have a delicious pasta salad, full of grilled broccoli and mojo porkchops. You eat it Wednesday... Nothing happens. So you eat it again on Friday... Nothing happens. And then you wake up Saturday morning to a breakfast of Coke and jellybeans and things are NOT right. Coke should not taste like dish soap... and only in Harry Potter will you find mercury flavored jelly beans.

You think I would know better at this point; this is the third time I've managed to 'catch' this funky mouth disease. The internet is rife with people complaining of what is now affectionately called 'pine mouth,' but there has only been one scientific study done on the phenomenon. They refer to this situation as a 'taste disturbance.' They being 'The Poisons Centre, Brussels, Belgium.' Fancy, I know. Anyway, they managed to figure out absolutely nothing about what it is exactly that causes this funky taste (did I mention it can last to up to a fortnight... that's right, you have to know what a fortnight is to understand how much this blows.) Wikipedia is, as always, much better equipped to answer my questions.

A small minority of pine nuts can cause taste disturbances, developing 1–3 days after consumption and lasting for days or weeks. A bitter, metallic taste is described. Though very unpleasant, there are no lasting effects. This phenomenon was first described in a scientific paper in 2001. This is a relatively new phenomenon and appears to be most common in nuts coming from China. It has been theorized that the nut trees are absorbing something and passing it on to the nuts, or the nuts themselves are being treated with something before packaging. It is also possible that the nuts have spoiled and are rancid, however the foul flavor is metallic and not rancid. Also, it has been hypothesized that this bitter side effect is caused by an allergy that some people may have to pine nuts, but this does not explain the recent appearance of this syndrome. Metallic taste disturbance known as metallogeusia, are reported 1–3 days after ingestion, being worse on day 2 and lasting for up to 2 weeks. Cases were self-limited and resolve without treatment- Wikipedia

Awesome, right? Fail. Mostly I'm just grumpy over a waste of good jelly beans. Consider yourself forewarned!